Monday, December 28, 2009

A "Shining" Moment

Heeerree's Jackie!! So I took a wee 3 1/2 month hiatus from blogging, I suppose life got in the way a bit . Aside from 37 colds, 18 bouts of the flu, and pound after pound of excrement, I had the joy of celebrating 4 of the 8 birthdays in my house; Halloween; my 15th anniversary; Thanksgiving; Christmas...oh, and let's not forget about school, where I happen to be taking a class in statistical research that is about as enjoyable as sticking my thumb into a tank full of hungry piranhas...whew! Now I have decided to race the clock in hopes of writing one last blog before the year's end. I will say that the longer I stayed away from writing my blog, the easier it became to lose sight of it, in fact, to avoid it altogether. In fact, I wondered if I even had anything left to say or if I was in fact "spent". Then after talking to some interested friends (Thanks Leslie K. & Mark S.) I remembered why I started writing my blog to begin with. I started it for myself and all the therapeutic amenities it offered me. I look back over the last 3 months and am amazed at how easily I replaced the simple joy of writing with a million other needs that had to be met.

Okay, I won't be a complete martyr here...I will now openly admit my recent addictions (although I like to think of it more as an acceptable release for any of my own obsessive compulsive behaviors) to the entire family of Zynga games on Facebook. That's right, in my "free" time I play Mafia Wars, Farmville, Fish World, Yoville, Farm Town and Super Poke Pets. Not only that, but my 5 year old daughter likes them as well, and has created her own accounts for all of these games. It's one of those precious mother/daughter things we share, virtually anyway. So now I have this insane obligation to be her "play friend" in all of these games...not only that but I have recruited several of my co-mommies and old friends to play with her too! I enjoy these games to a degree, but understand that they have driven a wedge between me and reality! I know I simply have no time for this nonsense, but the internal guilt upon which I thrive drives me back to them day after day. My stupid virtual fish may die or my virtual harvest may wither...or what if my virtual cookies burn, or even worse, what if Shannon's stuff dies, withers or burns? Then I have to explain the whole "science" of these events, and let's face it, I am not up for that quite yet...perhaps you can learn that at school honey? Suddenly these games, ya know the ones I am playing as a hobby, to "relax"...have turned into a time intensive commitment...an obligation...a job! I used to mock my husband for cursing at the Madden NFL games, saying, "Are ya having fun?" or "Enjoying yourself over there?", and, "That does seem like a relaxing hobby, with all the swearing and teeth gnashing!" Now here I sit, madly clicking on mature fish, tomatoes and energy packs...saying to myself, "Am I having fun? as I curse at my computer when Farm Ville won't load or Mafia Wars is down for temporary maintenance...constantly clock watching to see if it is time to feed my fish, or check my crops to see if they're ready. Is this fun...?? My answer has become a resounding "NO!" If your hobbies have the ability to takeover and control you, ultimately making you a slave to them, then they are no longer enjoyable, and therefore no longer hobbies. I genuinely do enjoy a couple of the games, which I will continue to play at my leisure with my daughter, because that IS fun. So what's my shining silver lining? Well, first of all I completed my goal of posting a blog before the New Year, but more importantly it would be the fact that I have acknowledged and admitted my silly game addiction...and now know what to do about it. I plan on using that "free" time to do something that feels more beneficial; something that makes me feel good...and that my friends would be spending time here with you! :) Happy New Year one and all!!!

Oh, and remember...All work and no play makes Jackie a dull girl...All work and no play makes Jackie a dull girl...All work and no play makes Jackie a dull girl...All work and no play makes Jackie a dull girl...

3 comments:

  1. Yes, you do need to start blogging regularly again. :) Love reading them. :)

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  2. Jackie, please help me rid myself of these virtual games. They have also taken over my life. Do we need to start a group that meets twice a day to rid us of this obsession! Thanks for admitting your are addicted to them. It made it easier for me to ask for help. Help, Help, please.
    Keep up the blogging. I look forward to it. :)

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  3. I have yet to try any of these games for fear of almost certain addition on my part!!

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