I sleep around...and I openly admit it

Okay, so what if you can count my conquests on one hand?? I bet you could never tabulate the number of "bed jumps" or games of "musical beds" I play in my house every night...and day for that matter. I love sleep...god I miss it. Our sleep schedules are absolutely whacked right now... Delirium is already setting in. Do you ever wake up and are so out of it that you aren't quite sure where you are, or what time it is...or hell, even what day, month and year it is for that matter?? This happens to me so often, it's the norm. Other than general psychosis, there is a reasonable explanation for why this happens to me. And no, it's not because I was fortunate enough to get so sloshed the night before that I wound up on some peaceful park bench somewhere...the reason is that there are 5 children living in our house. I start out in one bed, and end up in possibly 2, maybe even 3 different beds before it's said and done....whether it's crying children or urine covered sheets, it's any body's guess where my chaos will take me in the night.

Okay, so I will admit that it IS possible to get a decent night's sleep as a parent, for example when the kids are sleeping at someone else's house...or maybe you are one of those savvy schedule adhering types that I so desperately long to be...alas, I live with autism, which in my house knows no schedule. Most of you may know that autistic children require pretty regimented routines and tend to thrive on structure. During the school year, this is not impossible to achieve; introduce Summer, and we are @#$%&*! Throw the 3 typs into the mix, and there are MANY a sleepless night in my house. I often pull the night shift, since the other 2 adults have the luxury of hard labor for low wages outside of the house during the day. Lucky ducks.

So this summer, our entire household's schedule got turned around by one child and a flu bug. Within the first week of summer school, Cameron was sent home in his vomit covered clothes (summer school = low quality daycare in Florida), and fell asleep with his mild fever...and he slept the entire day away; meaning or course he'd be awake the entire night. Keep in mind that the auts sleep only when their bodies command it, no more, no less. They also cannot be reasoned with, so telling them to "go back to bed, or else <insert consequences here>", they just don't get it; it's like the whole Charlie Brown's teacher's thing, "mwah mwah mwha mwha"...

Suffice it to say, Cameron quickly adjusted to THAT routine...and so the graveyard shift began. Understand, when Cam is awake, he ensures that everyone else is too. He has his subtle ways; like screaming "EEEEEEEEEEEEE" at the top of his lungs as he runs through the house naked. If it's a truly fun filled night, he'll have taken a crap while we were asleep and oh so blissfully unaware, right up until he gets in bed with you...*sniff*, yeah...so then the game of "Where's Cam been?" ensues. Other favorite late night pastimes include turning every single light on in the house, barging into the backyard at 2am screaming about god knows what, sticking his fingers into a sleeping person's mouth, throwing his body wrestling style from atop the dressers onto the beds (whether someone is sleeping in it or not), shoving his juice cup and goldfish cracker bowl at us for constant refills, and obsessive / compulsively bringing us different games for his Playstation 2, Xbox, Wii, gamecube, gameboy or computer. All of these things, believe it or not my friends, tend to wake everyone in the house up...

And then there's Harry. Little man likes to function on a series of naps. Which also means no one is allowed to sleep during his awake time. Harry's methods are similar to his brothers, he likes the naked running and screaming "EEEEEE" thing as well...only his naked comes by way of him ripping off his diaper..usually followed by...well, at this point you know what I am going to say...shit. Then after "clean-up duty" (or in this case doodie), he of course needs to "refill", and subsequently brings us handfuls of puddings or yogurts from the fridge every 5 minutes...Remember, these boys are totally OCD, so I am seriously not exaggerating when I tell you the frequency with which these events occur...Our favorite, albeit heart stopping action, is when Harry turns the volume up to maximum decibels on every television in our house. Imagine being awakened by the blaring sounds of Mario kicking Kirby's ass in a rousing game of Super Smash Brothers Melee...every 30 seconds. I believe this is an exciting new game for him as he giggles when he sees you come sprinting at neck breaking speeds down the hall or into the room where the offending noises are coming from. Cool, cause and effect...actions and reactions. As the volume is turned down, Harry is told "no" to this...that lasts right up until your ass makes contact with a chair/bed/toilet/whatever...then he PUMPS UP THE VOLUME as well as my blood pressure. Oh dear god...he's fricking doing it right now..brb...K, now I see we are changing the game...this time upon my arrival Harry turned the volume back down, and sat grinning on the couch, isn't that the cutest thing? He's so adorable...and he's initiating a game and attending to it....at 3 in the morning. Silver Linings, Jackie, cling to 'em.