Meet the kids..if you dare!

A brief description of my kids would be beneficial in understanding where I speak from: Cameron is 9 years old and my oldest son. He is rather low functioning on the autism spectrum. Cam is completely non-verbal outside of the use of echolalia (echoing of words and phrases from sources such as television and computers in his case). He is on a constant mission to seek sensory input. He hates loud noise, yet makes the loudest noises you've ever heard. He is constant sound and movement; until he drops to sleep from sheer exhaustion. He has a propensity for naked...all the time. His diet consists of predominantly juice and goldfish crackers, the two things he can and will verbalize (However juice, sounds an awful lot like "Jews", which he has no knowledge of whatsoever..). He is a nightmare to every bathroom he comes into contact with (more on that later!) A child who initially appeared to be developing typically, hitting all of his critical milestones; Cameron regressed with each passing day. A friend once compared autistic children to snowflakes, as no 2 are ever the same...

Which brings me to our youngest child, Harrison, also autistic, he is 4 years old. Admittedly, Harry was our woopsie baby...conceived shortly after our "perfect" daughter. Knowing the statistics (the risk of recurrence rises to somewhere between 1 in 50), we had no plans of tempting fate...but as they say, even the best "laid" plans...he is a lovely addition to our family none the less...After about 8 months however, I realized something was amiss...as this child was delayed in achieving those ever so important milestones that we parents mark our children's progress by. We have an additional burden with this beautiful boy, he has severe eating issues. He is unable to handle any textures other than soft and smooth. His diet consists of yogurt and pudding, period. He knows not how to chew, tip his head to drink from a cup, or how to suck from a straw for that matter. Attempts at say a mashed potato upgrade always result in gagging and puking. Nutrition is a constant concern with Harry. Interestingly, however, he appears to be slowly progressing forward, as opposed to losing skills as his brother has done. He gains language as we move forward, his eye contact is suddenly amazing. He finds ways to communicate that are exciting for a parent of an autistic child...he shows, gulp, promise...a fearful term for the parent of the special needs. Harry has a penchant for the Xbox 360; the Wii; throwing things into the swimming pool; and ripping off his diaper to poop on my bedroom rug...(more on that later too!)

Sandwiched in the middle of the auties stands a beloved 5 year old daughter. Shannon is amazing to us for so many reasons. To be blessed with the joy of a typical child is an exceptional gift; a gift so many parents fail to realize, acknowledge and embrace. I worry everyday that our gift will be her inevitable curse. Teaching Shan to understand the differences in people will surely make her a better, stronger, more empathetic person. My "right mind" tells me this. Having been a typical girl myself however, makes me all too aware of what lies ahead for her. Growing up is difficult in the best of situations or environments, and hers are exceptional beyond belief.

So as I journey through each day, I remember a couple of things: Don't look at the "big picture" Jackie, it's far to overwhelming; take it minute by minute, because as I have discovered, you never know what the next minute will bring. The second thing I remind myself to do each day, is celebrate even the smallest of victories; they matter..they count!